My Ten Day Liquid Diet-The Final Blog as a Normal Stomached Person

Day One of Liquid Diet (8/15/15)

It was a strange feeling waking up today knowing I was done with food for a long while. I had done the liquid diet while I had required work meetings in Kearney. I did it Monday and Tuesday night I caved in and ate some dinner. It was a food funeral night-I had bar food; a hangover burger (8oz patty with a fried egg on it, waffle fries, ranch dressing, “Bleu Balls” and boneless wings). It seemed easy to do the liquid diet. I did it-was satisfied. However, today I had learned that it was probably 95% psychological that it was that easy because I, at that time, didn’t have to be on a liquid diet.

Today, I watched my best friend Jasmine compete in the top 16 at the Professional Women’s Bowlers Tour (aka PWBA). I am so fucking proud of her. It was exhausting to watch, I cannot imagine how she is feeling now that it is all done with. It was hard for me to watch on Friday but honestly, I had a fantastic day. It was going through memory lane-so many people I haven’t seen in years, most I talked to, most I didn’t care to talk to. I received amazing feedback from people with my blog, I talked about myself a LOT. Felt bad at first but I had a lovely conversation with someone and she had said, “You don’t need to call it selfish-you need to start calling it ‘taking care of yourself’ because there is nothing selfish about that”. It was truly a feeling that I’ve never felt before talking in person with the people who have followed my blogs. I also found out that I have a surprising number of people who have read them but never acknowledged they are following. I smile at this.

The hard part was the desire I felt to compete. I was sad at times but honestly, the promise I made myself to be fit, prepared and determined for the following year to compete at most of the stops-that in itself helped me cope. I’ll start on those goals later. I am going to take Kendra’s advice and start some kind of goal/vision board to look at every day. For now, I am soaking in the feeling of being proud of my best friend achieving one of her own goals. I cannot wait to travel with her and help each other next year.

Around 8am had my first protein drink-my favorite one actually. It is called Med-Ex 51 in the flavor of cookies and cream. It has 51 grams of protein and is actually pretty filling. I ordered two more cases off of Amazon to get me through the work week. Yes, I Amazon Primed that shit.  We watched Jasmine bowl from 9:00am till about 12:00pm. I was starving. I tried water but it was a true hunger. I needed food. Excuse me, I needed liquid. I took my parents to the Pho Factory. They had never had it so I was excited to see them try it. I ordered spicy beef pho in a huge ass bowl. I wasn’t able to finish it but I also ordered another huge ass container full of spicy beef pho. This seemed easy for me to not really want to eat anything else. The hardest part of eating pho, they did not strain the onions or green onions out of the broth. I was literally fishing for a plain sip of soup without that added stuff. In a way, I made a game of it and it was kind of fun. I love the flavor-I can absolutely do this if I need some flavor in my life. Kendra had given me a care package earlier in the week in which it consisted of Ziplock bags that are for homemade popsicles. I am going to freeze my pho soup and call them Pho-Sicles.

After that, we watched more competition. A few hours later, I was starving again. A true hunger. I had a personal conversation with my stomach and it was hungry-water wasn’t doing it. The bowling alley was smelling very good- I had Brian stop at a gas station to get muscle milk-I drank two of them. I was satisfied.

We had dinner reservations at Blue Sushi for 7pm. I was starving again. I forgot to drink a protein shake before we left but I knew I was okay with soups. I ordered two miso soups and one creamy crab soup. My parents and Brian had ordered a fair amount of sushi-some that I know I love. I had eaten my soups first but I wasn’t satisfied so I ordered one more creamy crab soup. I had eaten that while everyone had their sushi. I was desperate for some flavor so after everyone was done eating their sushi, I was wanting to lick everything. I had licked a fire roasted baby corn just to get the flavor. It took all my might not to inhale it. I also took out a piece of asparagus that was in one of the rolls and just licked the eel sauce off of it. I never knew how vegetable-y asparagus tasted until I licked, sucked and savored it.

Later that night, I did my measurements and weigh in. I should not have done one of those things and you guessed it-weighing myself on the Fucker. It said I had gained ten pounds but I am justifying that with A). Water/Liquid weight B). All my food funerals C). I hadn’t been to the gym in three days. I am over it-it is just a number and it will soon be different. My measurements, on the other hand, I was pretty happy! It was satisfying to see the inches on a piece of paper.

With my liquid diet, I am asking people to give up something for 10 days. I have a fair amount of people doing it with me-including my parents and Brian. Dad is giving up alcohol, Brian isn’t going to swear and gave up Instagram and mom, I am so proud of her-she is giving up her new favorite candy-M&M’s.

Day Two of Liquid Diet (8/16/15)

I woke up to a hyper puppy at 6:15am. I slept pretty terrible because of her and let me tell you, I was exhausted-I wanted nothing more but sleep. My stomach was grumbling, hunger woke up with me. I had a protein shake, of course my favorite. I had an 8am coffee date with some girlfriends to do some blog writing. It is super fun! There was three of us-we each have a blog. Blog dates. They are my new favorite thing, well second favorite next to gym time!

Had a decent day with the liquid diet. It was my first time experiencing eating at home with everyone. It was slightly humorous to watch Brian cook. He screwed up his goal of not swearing while cooking. I couldn’t help but smile watching. The food he made smelled delicious. I ate broth while Kylee, dad and Brian ate a Sriracha smoked chicken. My mouth waters just typing those words. My left over pho was spicy and satisfying surprisingly.

I did have to take a break from being in the house-the food smell was very good and it bothered me to the point of breaking. I went on the porch and relaxed. I made a list of things I needed to accomplish this week. I needed a break from the smell in the house. It smelled so wonderful. Brian is doing such a good job of eating healthy. I crave healthy. I am starting to crave texture. I will make some sort of popsicles, courtesy of Kendra supplying me with the bags to do so.

Day Three of Liquid Diet (8.17.15)

Today, I felt hungry all the time. I woke up at 4:10am to make sure I had my protein shake before work out. I drank half of it and drank the other half when I was done. I felt thirsty while working out. It also doesn’t help that the iron taste in my mouth is getting worse. I had this when I was on the Atkin’s diet 14ish years ago. I guess too much protein does that to me. I had a bunch of running around to do with work so I made sure I packed enough ready to drink protein shakes to cover me.

I went to lunch with dad once our meetings were done. While there, I ordered 1 bowl of the egg drop soup and 1 bowl of the hot and sour soup (not my favorite but I wanted to switch it up). It was good-after I filtered it out. I still need to purchase a tea-bag strainer to put in my purse so it makes my life a little easier.

I also had my required 1 week before surgery doctor’s appointment. It went well and everything so far as checked out good. I won’t hear some of the results in time of surgery but my doctor said she will have them before and if there is an issue, she will personally call me. I didn’t realize how the communication works in doctor’s offices but I left there and felt good about what we talked about. I was also sad, disappointed and emotional for just a moment when I had to bring up getting on birth control. Since I can’t do the shot due to the increases of depression/suicide if you have a history of it (I have a history of both), I have to do pill but can’t start them until after surgery. My short emotional fit lasted maybe 5 minutes and I shook it off. Anyways- if you live in Lincoln and don’t have a trusted doctor, I cannot speak more positively about Dr. Blake. If you want more information about her, message me. She is the perfect doctor, for me.

I did have to stay in the bedroom while food was being made and consumed. I just feel like I needed a break after experiencing being around it for several days in a row. I had a moment of weakness and felt bad for Brian because he is seeking approval that he is still eating very healthy, I am craving healthy foods. He tried to describe what he made and I cut him off and told him I wasn’t ready to hear it but tried to assure him that he is doing well with eating.

I took a walk in the back yard to get my steps in because I am in FitBit challenges but also to clear my head. I relaxed and did some Pinterest pinning. There was food involved but I had a personal conversation with myself and kept repeating, “This is temporary. This is temporary.”

Day Four of Liquid Diet (8/18/15)

Today was a pretty awful day. I got maybe 3 or 4 hours of sleep. There was a terrible storm in Lincoln that was at its strongest by our house. Between the hard rain, thunder and the flashes of continuous lightening, it was pretty difficult for a light sleeper like me to get any rest. I didn’t go to the gym in the morning. I tried-I woke up at 4:10am like the usual but I just couldn’t. I had to drive quite a bit for work and I don’t do well when it comes to being sleepy and driving. I don’t do caffeine so it’s especially harder for me on those type days to just wake up. I was just in a poor, negative mood and I had moments of feeling better-but I pulled myself back into a hole of feeling bad about myself.

I did the usual and packed my cooler full of protein shakes. I am not experiencing hunger every 3 hours. Let’s just say that I am almost tripling-almost quadrupling my protein intake. To switch it up from the shakes, dad and I drove around Omaha trying to find a place with soup. Finally, a Panera Bread popped up. While there, I was trying to figure out what soups I wanted-chicken noodle is too much work, cream of broccoli is too chunky/creamy, vegetable beef sounded boring as shit-I settled on the cream of tomato soup. I was REALLY hungry so I ordered a 12 ounce and an 8 ounce soup.

The lady came to the table and dropped off my two soups and my dad sandwich. I told her the two soups were for me in which her (extremely judgmental) response, “Oh wow-someone must be really hungry today eating two soups!” Being that my mood wasn’t the best, I quickly snapped at her telling her pretty quickly in a tone I don’t use often, “Well I am on a restricted diet because I am having bariatric surgery and yes, I am hungry-starving in fact. I am on day four.” She looked at me with a look as if she had seen Jesus Christ himself, “Oh my! I am so sorry dear. This isn’t much of a meal at all. You must be starving all the time” in which my response, “You have no idea”. The way I look at it the situation-if I had ordered the worst sandwich on the menu, a baguette, soup which also comes with shit tons of croutons and another baguette-would she have said anything? Because I ordered two of one of the healthier things on the menu-I was judged. Let’s just sum my temperament up with being short fused and no time for excuses from other nor judgement.

My dad had purchased the new flavor of Frito Lay chips: Reuben. I licked it in desperation for flavor and quickly threw it out the van window. I did this as if it were going to bite me like a snake.

First night of league happened. It actually made my day in addition to joking with Kendra via text message all day. She knows how to brighten my day-the Tigger to my Pooh-attitude. I didn’t bowl the greatest but you know, I will take it after I have had a short sabbatical with bowling. Hali and I are making goals to give us something to work towards. I haven’t made mine yet but she has. I am excited to help her achieve them! A couple challenges did happen at the bowling alley; they made food and it smelled really good. I could tell it was pepperoni pizza. This is something I have noticed that has changed about me; my sniffer is super sensitive-I could probably be a drug sniffing human. Anyways, the team we bowled against also had someone who was vapor smoking. They had cotton candy and it smelled delicious. I hadn’t even thought about cotton candy probably in years until that point. I got over it. I am stronger than cotton candy or pepperoni pizza.

Day Five of Liquid Diet (8/19/15)

I woke up in middle of the night. This is probably due to the fact that I drank 90 ounces of water just at bowling. On a good note, I slept hard and loved it. It was really, really, really hard to get out of bed but it helps knowing that Hali depends on me picking her up at 4:45am to go to the gym. I had a case of the giggles even. What a difference a day makes! I did have a bad dream. I had a dream that I cheated on my liquid diet, not on purpose. I didn’t follow it to a complete science and they had to do a HUGE incision on me. I woke up after that-concerned of course, doubting myself.

I had to travel out of town for work again but since I wasn’t as tired, I felt good about the day. While I was in Seward, I stopped at a gas station to get some water. The cashier-maybe in her early 40’s noticed my new tattoo. She had mentioned that she loves the color. Being friendly like I am, I said “Thank you-I got it done almost two weeks ago.  DNB stands for ‘Do Nothing Bitch’ after Ronda Rousey. She is a famous UFC fighter. Her response was more judgmental and the lady the day before, “Oh…well…alrighty then” in this tone I couldn’t stand. I gave her a look that probably meant a million words-but she could probably guess the two I meant (starting with an F and ending with a U) and walked off with a smile thereafter.

My dad had wanted some food-it was a late lunch. My hunger is growing every day. I guess that’s okay since the physician’s assistant said I can hand unlimited liquid diet. Took my dad to McDonald’s so he could get a grilled chicken wrap. He got the combo meal. It was hard-the smell, which I haven’t been attracted to for YEARS-in fact I hate McDonalds and haven’t eaten there in nearly 6 years (don’t get me wrong, I chose to be a fat ass somewhere else and order my double or triple burger and a diet soda with fries). I did myself a favor and got a smaller protein shake from my pre-packed cooler and drank that. Although I will admit, I thought of greasy food with every gulp I took. I consumed a lot of water today as well. I peed more today than I have in weeks, maybe even in my life. I must be metabolizing water better. I’ve always had a thing about not peeing much no matter who much I drink or what I drink. I guess I trained my bladder to have a strong piggy bank since we traveled so much as kids/teenagers-I would have to hold it until the next gas station but my dad would forget so 50-80 miles later, he remembered.

Got home in time for dinner (I had left over Pho) and was considering going to the gym for a second time while everyone ate their normal food but I thought about all the shit I need to do like laundry, folding laundry and fixing our closet (my dad did that-it was a pain in the ass). I’m glad I didn’t go to the gym. I need to go into surgery feeling I did everything I wanted to do which includes housework. I doubt everything I want to get done will actually get done but I still have several days to work on it.

I also got several words of encouragement today via text and also through Facebook. I am seeing who my real friends are and being surprised of the support from people I haven’t heard from in years. It’s very refreshing to see this and a little disappointed in the others. I will not let that effect any part of my journey. Speaking of friends, stool softener has become my best friend. I had a fantastic date in the bathroom with it and it also was refreshing.

Day Six of Liquid Diet (8/20/15)

It was another day, another shake. It is getting a little redundant but still I have not had any temptation worth messing up my surgery. Went to the gym as first thing. I didn’t put a full effort in but I never do. In my opinion, I give it 95% so I can leave a little to be desired later. I’ve been taking some walks in the evening to get some steps in since I am doing more of the weight training than cardio. I’m still doing cardio-don’t get me wrong. I also treated myself to soup today! Tomato basil at Hy-Vee for lunch. Too many carbs but at least I am switching it up.

I seemed not as hungry the entire day. I think it was maybe my nerves. After work, I took my parents to Omaha to do the pre-operation class that is required. This is yet one more step that is making it more real. I was nervous I would learn something I didn’t know or start scaring myself out of doing it. It was almost just the opposite. My support team is really awesome, except maybe the pharmacist-I didn’t care for her but I can live without her. Any of her concerns, I have already talked my family physician and also the surgeon and she seemed to flip out about nothing. Anyways, one hugely positive thing that I learned-I am more prepared than 85% of the people that were in attendance. It shocked me how some people have gotten that far in this program with stupid questions like-“Soda and quitting…is this a permanent thing or when can I have it after surgery?”—are you kidding me? The same lady also asked about ‘juices’. On the OK list of things to consume during liquid diet-tomato juice and fruit juice (certain kinds-low calorie, low carb etc.). She asked, “So juices…tomato juice I don’t really like. Can I drink V8 Splash?” this was after the lecture about what is a good juice vs. a bad juice. She was mumbling “Oh Lord” under her breath with the answers that were thrown back at her. She should just save the insurance the headache of paperwork because she has already set herself up for failure. If she is paying out of pocket, she should save it for something that would be truly useful for her. I asked questions, I felt confident, until I realized I royally fucked up.

I realized that when I paid for my surgery on Tuesday in full, that I used the wrong credit card. Who does that? I have a new one that Brian and I share-it’s the first time I have shared financial stuff like that. Anyways, it had a limit that absolutely would not meet the amount I had to pay. I was freaking out during the pre-operation class. It had been two and half days since the lady called with my information. I had Brian try to get a hold of her in billing but no answer, left a message. I got another phone call that I missed from an Omaha number thinking it was the lady in billing-it wasn’t. I almost broke down and cried during the pre-operation class-I was a hot mess. I was not there mentally. I should have just walked out. Luckily my parents were listening intently and there were handouts. My mind was fucked. How was I going to sleep? I calmed down thanks to my parents-the plan was to call on Friday.

Another cool thing, there were 3 of us already on liquid diets. I told her about my blood test results that I just got back that day. Everything looked pretty good, healthy but one thing that was in the red (meaning I was over the ‘healthy range’) but they weren’t super worried about it. It was abbreviated “B/C-Ratio”. Of course, my parents and I were Googling it and it could have meant 1) Heart failure 2) Kidney failure 3) Liver issues 4) Diabetic possibilities. I told the coordinator about it and she said she wasn’t familiar and she asked what I’ve been consuming for liquid. I told her, “A SHIT ton of protein-like 180-200 grams a day. I am hungry all the time.” The annoying lady that was pretty much asking stupid questions, overheard us and said, “My sister has that. It means you have a lot of protein in your system and the numbers are skewed.” The coordinator told me to back off the protein so sadly I will. I showed her a picture of the protein shake that I love (Med-EX 51G Cookies and Cream-off of Amazon, its cheaper than the Vitamin Shoppe). She was super interested in it because it only has 8grams of carbs and 51grams of protein. That is HUGE for bariatric patients. At the end, I ran to the car and got my extra can and gave it to her-she wants to try it for herself and then maybe recommend it to future patients. It was my good deed for the day.

My best friend got a puppy as a side note-an English Mastiff named Brewser. I love him.

Day Seven of Liquid Diet (8/21/15)

Went to the gym in the morning, weird-right? I am addicted to it. Again, I didn’t push myself the full 100% but I also had a lot of steps/walking to do in the day. It was arm day-I can’t wait to start seeing a difference in my arms. It’s the thing I’m almost excited about the most. I really felt it today. I can’t wait to have a trainer to help me push myself more efficiently-or show me what I need to do for the results I want.

After work out, the morning was too beautiful to pass up. I walked for 45 minutes in our yard-around the pool. It was stunning out. I was sweaty, it was cool. I loved it. After that, I had work to do. It was a good day-productive. I got a lot of steps in-that was my goal. I was distracted by everything-I kept thinking about the fuck I did-wrong credit card mistake. I felt so guilty. I was freaking out my surgery wouldn’t happen because I knew they would process my card.

The clock was pretty slow. I needed to call by 9am to figure out payment. I couldn’t figure out where Kim worked, the lady in billing. I called several numbers and no one had a Kim that worked. After calling two wrong facilities, I found where Kim works. The lady wasn’t very nice but I was also frantic on the phone, slightly. Kim took the past two days off, hence why I hadn’t gotten a call back. Even worse news-no one else does billing for that facility. I was fucked. I had a meltdown. I cried, cried, cried. I had called my coach and she said she would message the physician’s assistant to call me to find out my options. An hour later, a miracle happened. Apparently, the card I used saw the transactions and upped the limit by a LOT and they processed it for us. I had no idea that credit card companies could do that. It was amazing. I had a moment of 100000% complete weakness. I thought I was so fucked. I wanted to eat. I almost did but I didn’t. I thought to myself, “I can’t have surgery now anyways, I just as well eat now!”

After my pitty party, I went to Complete Nutrition to get my measurements done. They do the same measurements that my support team’s office did on March 12^th. I am excited to keep the progression of what I am doing internally. I think that will help me feel satisfied being that I don’t always see the results from the outside.

I didn’t eat or drink well today. I am not going to list my excuse. I just wasn’t prepared. It was the first day in a long time that I wasn’t. It bothered me. I hardly drank water, I hardly ate. I did have me some Pho tonight for dinner and it was DELICIOUS. I think that is helping me by switching up flavors every now and again. I still feel this is too easy-I say this now but I know it will get tremendously harder. We went to a craft store and it hit me-liquid in-liquid out. It was not a pleasant experience. It was almost a problem.

My mom got her therapy dog! This is a side note but I am so, so, happy for her.

Day Eight of Liquid Diet (8/22/15)

Another day, another shake, and another. I was not feeling great today. I didn’t drink much water in the morning and worked in the afternoon. It was hot and humid, the first time it’s been that way in a while. I pretty much got heat exhaustion. I had to load/unload my vehicle and load it in my storage shed. I basically have my own small warehouse of supplies for work.

I rested. I felt guilty that I rested for several hours. I think that is also the first time I wasn’t on the go-go-go in several weeks. I had also developed a rash on both sides of my thighs, I guess that’s yet another side effect of being a ‘bigger girl’-I hate when they rub together. I don’t ever see myself having “the gap” but God, I wish I had it.

I stressed a lot yesterday about the surgery. I have been making a gradual list of things to pack for the hospital. I hate feeling like I’ll forget something or I won’t be prepared. I also hate not knowing how it will go-so this whole thing is feeling a little much for me. The anxiety medication IS happening right when I get to hospital. I’ve been hyping it up enough.

My husband was very kind yesterday to help me “switch up” my soups/shakes. He brought home some cucumber gazpacho from Zoup. It was pretty good. My taste buds were a bit shocked that it was something else other than cookies and cream, orange dreamsicle or chocolate.

Day Nine of Liquid Diet (8/23/15)

It was an interesting day to say the least. I slept in a little bit today. I feel the weather has been shifting to Fall and it makes me want to cuddle in bed. Not a good thing when gym is calling. I had rest days this weekend but I was still active around the house. I got my steps in with my FitBit.

I ate lunch with one of my biggest fans in my journey-Vicki. I just love her. I feel we are very similar with everything. I’ve known her since I went to college. She is one of my best friend’s mother. We played catch up a little over a week ago and I promised her a Pho date. She had never tried it before so I was excited to see what her thoughts were. It was a success! I even said during the meal, “I hope this isn’t like the other day with ‘liquid in-liquid out’. Well….

On our way home, I had trusted a fart. I really shouldn’t have done that. I haven’t had much gas at all since doing liquid diet and with my last experience with Pho, I don’t know what I was thinking. You guessed it… I, as a grown adult, shit my pants. It was all liquid. I know it is too much information but it is the life of a future bariatric patient. I didn’t know it was there, it was an accident. Luckily, it was in thick blue jeans and we were almost home. Brian didn’t even notice. I quickly showered and carried on with the day. I had another spell on our way to Target-we went shopping for last minute things to bring to the hospital. I made sure I got it all out of my system.

I went to bed hungry. It’s a hunger I’ve never experienced before. It’s getting worse and worse. It isn’t the worst feeling I’ve ever had but it isn’t pleasant. I am proud of myself not getting tired of the protein shakes I’ve been drinking.

Day Ten of Liquid Diet (8/24/15)

I didn’t sleep well at all. I was having dreams that involved my surgery, I don’t remember them. I probably woke up about 6 times throughout the night. I went back to sleep but I am one that if I don’t sleep straight through, I feel exhausted.

Even though I was tired, I still got up and went to the gym with Brian. I worked off my stress-or so I thought. It was arm day. I did some treadmill but I focused more on my arms. It was the first time at the gym that I wore a shirt that exposed my arms. I think I will do that more often being that I can see myself-which will motivate me.

I had to drop the big dogs off at the vet which made me sad because it was the last time I was going to spend with them without freaking out that they would accidently hurt me somehow. I didn’t realize how bad I was going to miss being around my fur kids until today. It made me tear up a little.

We had to work in Wayne, Nebraska and went to Norfolk, Nebraska. It seemed like a long day but it was productive at least. I wasn’t super focused on work. I could have cared less about it. I was anxious, the worst anxiety I have felt in years. The brick on the chest was back. I had flashes of feeling things would be okay with text messages, private Facebook messages I was getting with well wishes and support. For the first time, I understand I am being brave. It hit me today. It also made me feel real good that so many people care and have been thinking of me. I love it. I never have asked for it but it is nice when I need it the most. I have some of the best people in my life.

I was stressing myself out so bad in the car on the way to Omaha that I got a horrible headache. I never get them. I decided to sleep a little bit-maybe 30 minutes and I felt better. I am getting into a horrible habit of flexing my jaw when I am stressed or even grinding my teeth a little. I think that has something to do with my headaches too. I don’t realize I do it until it’s too late.

At the hotel, I had to re-read the instructions, the entire packet plus the booklet I got on Thursday. I guess I am as prepped as best I can be. I just hate not knowing. I hate the unexpected. People can tell me what it may feel like but it’s hard because I haven’t been through anything to compare. When I got my first tattoo, the comparison was-“It feels like a lot of little bee stings”. Okay, I can tolerate that-I’ve had bee strings, I’ve had a couple at the same time so I get the comparison. I just have to keep reminding myself that the things I will experience, will be temporary and it can only improve from there.

Dinner tonight will consist of soup. Brian and dad went and got sandwiches, I wanted to be with Roto.  I had my first silent cry because the food smelled so good and I am so close to surgery. The bread. The meat. I cried my pitty party away. I’ll eat my soup in a bit. I can’t eat or drink past 12am. I have to get some in though because they require a pee test in the morning to double check for pregnancy-trust me, no worries there.

I am going to take a walk before I sleep. Maybe even with Roto. Yes, Roto came because he is on seizure medicine and it stresses him out being away from us. He won’t be sleeping with me for a long time. Again, I cried a little. He is my little pebble, Khali and Husker are my bigger pebbles and Brian is my rock. It sucks not going to be able to be around that for a while. It is temporary. It is temporary.

I guess I am signing off officially. My last blog post as a normal stomached person. It’s a weird feeling knowing that everything will change within two hours tomorrow morning. I hope you all have enjoyed the blog thus far. It will only get more interesting from here.

A special thank you goes out to those that have been messaging me. When I reply with what it means, I mean it wholeheartedly. I love you all very much and appreciate the thoughts! Brian will be posting updates I’m sure. If he isn’t be sure to message him or my father, Greg.